HETEROSEXUAL SEX STRIKE FOR FOUR YEARS

Ovidie, a famous and former French porn star that became a writer and philosopher about sexuality and feminism, published some days ago a new book named « La Chair est triste hélas » ("The Flesh is sad alas”)

Her book starts with those words: « Un jour, je n’ai plus pu. » ("One day, I couldn't anymore"). In this book she started to share some of her personal feeling about her heterosexual life.

In what she defines as neither "an essay nor a manifesto", "neither a lesson in feminism nor a social project", Ovidie explains why she has been on a heterosexual sex strike for four years. She assures that she has nothing "against men", but just does not "want to sleep with them anymore".

Ovidie speaks here of her disgust for heterosexual sexuality “at the service of men and their pleasure”

She develops a very interesting philosophical approach about the classical heterosexual relations.

For her Those relations looks to be mirroring the patriarchy of our societies. And keep the standards leading the majority of those relations to be centered around the pleasure of the males.

A kind of “pleasure Domination”

One of her sentences describe her frustration and could be generalized to many of other women “It is all the diktats of society that pollute my vision of male-female relationships today (…). Neo liberalism is not only economic for me, it has entered our beds. I don't want to "adapt", "be flexible" and "agile" in my relationships with men, I'm not a start-up",

Regarding the domination diktat, she say “Men have still not understood the expectations of women (…), as if the apotheosis of the relationship was necessarily the passage to the sexual act, as if the woman were their object, their possession”.

Still talking about the pleasure domination. She say “Hetero Sex disgusts me. In the end, all that matters is to please the man, satisfy his need, allow him to show his authority. I see nothing but submission” admitting that she “forced herself to consent so as not to offend their fragile egos. »

she says, she has understood that she had “forced herself all her life to have sex” to “comply with patriarchal heterosexual injunctions”.

Saying this beautiful sentence “I let these men masturbate inside me, because it was nothing more than that”.

Of course Ovidie, has not abandoned the pleasure, and the desire. She now turned herself to sex toys and Lesbianism.

She say, "a sex toy" Gives her "much more pleasure than a man". She add, we give “a bewildering importance to the penis, in fact It's just one game accessory among others, and certainly not the most effective way to have an orgasm”

In a kind of sense of humor she add "I assume to have a vibrator that is 100 times more efficient and has more conversation than a man. He does not require a football subscription and does not smoke. Well, he doesn't take out the trash and doesn't take care of the children but, spoiler, neither do the guys! ».

She ended by saying that her heterosexual renouncement opened her to start an introspective freed from her chains. She say that her “sologamy” allows her to take much more time to explore “sorority” which brings her everything she needs” and added “I keep all my energy, my support and my listening for my fellows”.

She add “I feel freer, more serene surrounded by women, my sisters or my girlfriends".

As an Amazon I will certainly not contradict her on that point lol

I assume there was lot of citations in this article but I think that the word she used were enough powerful to express a women frustration.

Men, an advice, do not under estimate women’s feelings…

Thanks Ovidie for opening the debate..